Howdy Pard, I'm Swift Montana Smith. First, I wanna thank you for checkin' out my web site. Then...I'm gonna give you a couple excerpts from my book, just to see if you agree with me. The following are some choice pieces from my book that'll either get your head to noddin' in agreement, or get your blood to boilin'. In either case, I hope I make enough of an impact on you for you to purchase my book. So I'm thankin' you in advance for buyin' my book. THANKS! And may your aim be true! Swift Montana Smith

“Ugliest damn thing I ever saw!” I thought. “Kinda reminds me of…yes, made of spare parts…it’s the Frankenstein of Gun Carts!” Page 21 “Look,” I said, “this [cowboy] hat is about as American as you can get and I’m proud of it. It’s one of the few things that were truly invented in America. Sure, the hat makers took some things from other hats, like the wide brim, that idea came from sombreros, but the design over all is totally American. If it were up to me, and I know it ain’t, but if it were, this cowboy hat would be standard issue to every American, and would have to be worn or else you would get a ticket like you do when you don’t wear your seatbelt… Page 22 Could you see a terrorist going to meet Allah with a cowboy hat on? No way, he would have to take it off first and then, wham, you could nab him right there. Page 33 New York City is the last place on the entire planet that I want to be. Oh, maybe not the last place, but close to it. You see; I’ve been there before… I don’t like the idea of 8 million people stacked one on top of the other in a space 2 miles wide by 7 miles deep. Page 53 …there is a lot of hullabaloo about a movie called, “Humpback Mountain”, or something like that. As far as I can tell, it’s a movie about two guys that really like each other and sleep in the same bed. It’s one of those movies that I will always be proud to say that I have never seen. I put it right up there with “Saturday Night Fever” and about a dozen other movies that involve people cutting up other people for some demented purpose. Page 60 He looked me right in the eyes and the hackles on the back of my neck stood straight up. I felt a cold chill, and I almost jumped, but I didn’t, I stood there mesmerized. Page 81 The cowboy continued, “I heard a man that I much admire say something, and I have never forgotten it. It goes like this: ‘I won’t be wronged, I won’t be insulted, and I won’t be laid a hand on. I don’t do these things to other people and I require the same from them.’ Page 124 He looked at the woman’s neatly combed beautiful long hair and thought to himself, “I guess you gotta try and keep your dignity even if you are a cheap whore.” Page 152 …“Is she a virgin? What in the…” Edgar interrupted, “I just ask because if she is, she’s worth more money that way on the open market, and maybe that damned albino is more interested in gold than gettin’ his willy wet! Page 184 “Hold on there a minute, you ain’t gonna get shed of me that fast,” Edgar said with a laugh. “I’ll see you get set up. Come on; let’s get these animals some of that “Tangled” water. Well sir, there you have just a smidgen what's in store for you when you "READ MY SHORTS!" Hope all is well in your camp. Montana